The Most Boring Girls Night Out...

was not last night. Ha. Gotcha. you thought i was going to write about how i had the most boring girls night out. but i didn't. because it was superb. in a weird, vomit filled sort of way. and ill get to that in a minute, don't worry.

so it starts off, us 6 girls, dinner at Geisha House. on the way there, i was like, how ironic...and stereotypical. 6 Asian girls eating at Geisha House. get it? get it? so anyways, we eat sushi and mindy baby forces a drink down my throat bc everyone else is drinking and i MUST drink for that reason. God forbid i be sober. i guess i'm a big fat bore when im sober. like Fun Bobby.

next destination: Cafe Nineteen. I was expecting a dark little bar tucked away in a corner with sleazy heugs bc it is Atlantic Station after all and we know how "dark" it gets there. but no, lo and behold, it actually IS a cafe, with lots of delish looking desserts and a full bar. and cute lighting. and a hunk of man bartender. DROOL. oh Gene whatever-your-last-name-is. Can we rewind time to the first time we met and make out passionately again while i rub your chiseled abs? too bad i was pretty much blacked out when this happened but i like to think he was a good kisser. and secretly whispered "i love you" in my ear. about 20 drinks later (i love dirty martinis now. drink of choice. fuck you ketel tonics!) the girls fought me about going to pink pony, and i lost the battle. one particular little one we were with was quietly blacked out and we didnt notice until she pretty much stumbled around in circles and almost gouged out our eyes when we tried to take her keys. the small ones are always the dangerous ones. *points to self* and i meant small as in height. no weight jokes please. ill murderize you. SO ANYWAYS we load up the cars, drive to the pony, pull in the parking lot, and then we get "the call".

rose: ummmm where are you guys.
mindy: pink pony woman! where are you??
rose: yeah, you're gonna have to come to QT like right now. XXXX just threw up on herself. i don't know what to do! come RIGHT NOW!

so we peel out, and arrive to find XXXX sweating, blacked out, and passed out in her car with copious amounts of vomit all over herself and the parking lot looks like a napkin dispenser exploded with all the napkins rose used in her attempt to clean her up. being the awesome friend i am, i was like "OMG...give me the camera." I think someone was like, "omg are you going to take pictures?? that's so wrong..." and i was like, "WHAT?? no. i'm doing this bc i'm her FRIEND. she can't remember this bc she's PASSED OUT. i want her to be a part of this. she needs memories." and i snapped away like paparazzi from every angle while people stared like wtf is that girl dead and why is that crazy chinese girl taking pictures and are they having a party in the parking lot? yeah. a vomit party. we like to throw up on ourselves and each other. it's the new rage. fast forward to us ditching the pony idea and driving XXXX back to her place, and lucky for us, she lives on the third floor. and we're like, oh no problem, there's 5 of us, and she's like, what, 80 pounds? so jamie grabs her legs and is like, let's carry her, and then she looks like she's struggling. so i'm like, yo what's the hold up. and she looks at me, confused, and says, "She's like, fighting me." and i was like "wtf how is that possible she's passed the fuck out?" and i realize this hoe is locking her legs up somehow and fighting us blacked out/passed out. it's a crazy skill, never seen it before. it took 3 of us to yank her out, and at this point there was a fresh batch of regurgitated food on her, so while 4 of us try to carry her up 3 flights of stairs she keeps slipping out of our grasp like a slippery little monkey from the vomit and we ( okay, not we. just me bc i'm like, the antichrist) can't stop laughing hysterically and everybody has puke on them. shoes, jeans, shirt, my hair. in between our fingers. make it up without killing ourselves (dude, dead weight is no joke), it takes about 20 minutes to change her bc she continues to fight us while sleeping and holds onto a fistful of my hair for half that time. i was trying not to rub my face in her vomit. i think i was half successful. we throw her in bed on her stomach/side so she doesn't choke on her vomit, look at our vomit stained selves, and decide to go for some more drinks. we deserved it damnit. so the night ends with the typical korean karaoke, lots of tambourine banging, and stumbling in around 4 am.

it definitely wasn't what i had in mind, but it was epic nonetheless. i love XXXX for doing what she did, bc vomit or not, it was hilarious and ive decided she's a gangster ass bitch even when she's covered in half digested sushi and chardonnay. bc not everyone can fight when they're in an alcohol induced coma.

so part 2 should be coming up within the next 2 weeks or so. i think we will add that crazy whorean friend of mine, liz park (theparksisters.blogspot.com) to the equation and see what pops up. nothing healthy i daresay. pictures to come soon.

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:
XXXX: (talking to bartender) sooo, can i ask you a question?
gene: sure
XXXX: do you wear boxers? briefs? whitie tighties?
gene: nothing
me: (instantly becoming interested) whatttt? liar. i don't believe you.
XXXX: prove it.
gene: (lifts up shirt, pulls down waist of his bands justttt enough.) see?
XXXX and me: (staring in awestruck silence and drooling onto bar)
me: my panties just went *poof*