Kittens

they're so cute. and cuddly. and fiiiiine. and if you haven't gotten that i'm not talking about the little things that have whiskers and meow, then you don't know me at all. i'm talking about those hot-ddeuguh younger guys/men/boys. i read a blog about cougars, and it inspired me to write this. 

yes i'm a cougar. so what. so sue me. im not one of those cougars that ONLY goes for younger guys. i like variety. i'm a variety pack kind of gal. when i go shopping for cereal i don't like to choose just one. i want a different flavor for every morning. kind of like how i like my men. 

up until last year i refused to even look at guys that were a year younger than me. my first question upon meeting someone new would be, "what year are you?" "83" ... "get out of my face." okay maybe not to that extent but they pretty much got the boot. why you ask? because i thought guys were immature as it is, why bother wasting my time? i wanted the suave and sophistifunk older men. but i always ended up with losers my age. go figure. anyways, so i somehow got tricked into going on a date with a much younger guy, and long story short i was SOLD. younger guys are so malleable. it's like you can step in and mold them into the hot version that you wish so many guys your age were. and they don't mind. younger guys are adorable because they haven't let themselves go yet and developed those hated beer belly guts, don't have receding hairlines, they're so attentive and actually try to please you by doing things that you want to do, pay attention to little details, don't hound you about marriage because they're too damn young, still like to go out and do things, and have awesome stamina. yeah i said it. 

i try to keep the cougar within on a leash but sometimes that bitch gets out in a bad way. i see lots of cute younger guys out and about here and there, but i just look and think, "oh how cute." but once in a while i'll come across one that i'll look and think, "i have to have it." and what cougar wants, cougar gets. *claw fingers*


i thought about all the reasons for why my cougarish ways came to be. i guess the top reason would be my commitment issues. the thought of being in a long term monogamous relationship scares me. okay that came off wrong. not that i mind having sex with only one person, it's BEING with one person in a close emotionally intimate relationship that freaks me the fuck out. this started about 2 years ago, right about the time when the cougar phenomenon started. it's totally endearing when a younger guy will look at me with those moon eyes and tell me how much they like me and how they want to be with me. it makes me giggle and want to rip their clothes off. on the other hand, when a guy my age or older says those same words, i cringe, make a repulsed facial expression, and request that they never contact me again. i know, i have issues. i'll be 40, unmarried, no kids, and chasing that young ass and use lots of skin products to trick them into thinking im younger. now that i think about it...doesn't sound too bad to me.