im so grown up part dos

i just noticed im following myself. can i say...vain? no but seriously, how did that happen? did i black out in a moment of sheer genius thought and unconscientiously follow myself because i'm that awesome? or am i computer illiterate and don't know wtf i'm doing and just clicked on something? omg i almost misspelled "illiterate" and "misspelled". HAHAHAHA. WTF. thank you spell check wavy red line. someone needs to go back to school.


yeah so not only has my IQ apparently dropped 100 points (refer to 1st paragraph), i've also become domesticated. awww yeahhhhh. that's right. say hello to me, karlos stewart. i can cook, clean, and do laundry. key word: can. does that mean i do it on a regular basis? sometimes. i'm on a "cooking at home" kick so i've been testing out some recipes on my guinea pig aka eric tsai. so far so good. unless he's lying to me. but as he stated before, he doesn't lie because he has a horrible memory like that of a goldfish. and will forget about the lie he told and end up screwing himself in the bunghole. because i have a phenomenal memory and remember EVERYTHING. but it's kinda fun. for instance, we will sit down to watch a movie together and he's seen a ton of movies i haven't seen.

me: ooooohhh ive been wanting to watch this movie.
e: oh yeah? i've seen it before.
me: *disappointed* oh. shit. well, nevermind then, we can watch something else. is it any good?
e: ehhhhhhh....wellll.....i don't remember. let's watch it again!!
and then he will proceed to watch it with as much zeal as he would a movie he's never seen before. see? fun!
he's kind of like that guy from 50 First Dates that only remembers things for 10 seconds. but just not to that extent.

another growed up thing i've started doing is stop going out. don't get me wrong, karlos likes her days off and definitely still has a taste for that poison--alcohol. i remember back in the days i would get completely obliterated, stumble home somehow, and wake up with no recollection of the nights events. my only clues are pictures that dear friends post of me passed out in a lounge somewhere, holding my arms up and posing with me. nowadays i wake up to eric banging on my windshield and yanking me out of the car because i passed out on the way home and refused to wake up. but this only happened once. or twice. curious. my memory fails me.

do i miss those hard pAArtying ways and nights out with friends until the wee hours of the morning? eating spegs and rice at 4 AM and waking up looking like one of those people who got stung on the face by bees and had a horrible allergic reaction? kind of, yeah. the endless nights of karaoke, countless bottles of crown, the smell of cigarettes saturated in my hair and clothes . being miss social butterfly and prancing around town like a korean queen B socialite. but what i like more than all these things is not waking up feeling like death, losing 22 pounds, saving money that needs to go to bills, and eating semi-healthy. what? did i just hear you snore? well fuck you. i'm not peter pan. i knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. i'm turning 30 next year. my ovaries are not getting any younger and my biological alarm has been going off. i think i have like, 30 eggs left. maybe more that have been picked and preserved from all the alcohol. either way, i'm determined to try to be a mommy at some point so i have to cleanse my poisoned uninhabitable womb starting now. the craziest, most party animal girls i knew are now awesome wholesome healthy mommies. so why not me, right? yeah yeah, say your jokes. i can still be gangster with a Bundle O Joy strapped to my front and a mini karlos in it. that's like, 1.5 gangster. *gang sign fingers*

im all grown up

heehee. fooled you with the title. hellll no am i all grown up. am i trying to act more like it? maybe a little. there's been a complete shift in my life in the past year and i gotta say, it's good for me. gone are the days of crown guzzling blackout nation. now are the days of beer and gin and tonic blackout nation. that sentence is so grammatically incorrect. i moved out, i have a new punching bag aka boy in my life, and a new job. i love the boy, hate the job. sales is so not glamorous. not that i feel like i should have some sort of rockstar razzle dazzle lifestyle, but i would at least like to spend a third of my life doing something i feel is worthwhile. but that's a whole different blog....


it's been a while since i blogged. almost a year? no, about a year. someone who was never supposed to read my  blogs and went ahead and did it anyway when i expressly asked them not to made a comment to me about my blogging. said it was kind of trashy and not classy and below their standards of what they perceived i was capable of writing. my answer to this is as follows. when the fuck did i say i was trying to recreate hamlet or some sort of literary masterpiece???? it's called a BLOG because its pretty much verbal diarrhea from my big beautiful brain. don't like it? don't effing read it. gauge out your eyes for all i care.

i read over some of my old xanga entries and blogs and almost died. i'm FUNNY. yeah i'm complimenting myself. i might just repost some of my xanga stuff on here for a while until my creative juices start flowing again. my genius brain has been laying dormant for a little while.

what the fuck is taking this surgery so long???? im waiting at the hospital for my dad's surgery that was supposed to be over an hour ago. let me give you a tip doctor. if you say 3, then be done by 3 please. nobody likes their anxiety and stress levels to be peaked for any longer than necessary.

stress mental block. ill be back.